Extreme obesity

All I’ve ever wanted in life is to find someone who is willing and wants me as big as possible. Like my earliest memories are of me daydreaming being fed to enormous sizes. This is so ingrained in me I’m only happy when being fed and encouraged and seeing the scale go higher day by day. Sometimes it feels like a curse but I know when I finally find my forever feeder I’ll be in heaven growing non stop. Anyone else feel this way or want this for their partner?

I feel this so much. It's the worst feeling to not feel comfortable with myself due to the opinions of others, but I'm just realizing more and more all the time that I can't continue to deny my urges to get obese. Like the previous post said, it's so ingrained in me that I just know I'll never be happy until I get fat and honestly it goes beyond sexuality and I've just always felt like I would be so much happier in a fat body